I didn't shave. On purpose
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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