He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
