Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
