well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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