what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
