No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
