she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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