just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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