I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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