It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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