whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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