break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
