I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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