He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
