That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
