I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
