She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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