haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
