Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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