It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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