haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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