I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
