So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i will never coherently bang her
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
