i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
