New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize