Just fell off a train. Bad.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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