I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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