That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
