My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
