people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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