Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
