Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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