I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
