Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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