I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
