...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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