You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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