i would punch a child for taco bell
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
