hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
