butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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