sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
