He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
