I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
