You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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