He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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