walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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