doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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