Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your penis caused this!
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