i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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