they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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