The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
