It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
