he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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