woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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