hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
