We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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