so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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