its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
