I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
