Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
