I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
