The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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