We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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