I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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