I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sarcasm needs its own font
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
